Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Please Do Not Send Money

If you received an email from me requesting money, it is from bad guy hackers, not me. I am not at a seminar in London without my wallet or money for a hotel, I am in Amherst drinking Kenyan coffee at a locally owned establishment trying to recover all data. My e-mail account was hacked into.

Suddenly no e-mail, no blog, no life. I stared at the blank screen. The phone rang off the hook. People calling with responses ranging from "areyouok?" from the caring to "ewww" from the knowing to "call the police!" from my 76 year-old-father.

mn: Hello, I'd like to report a theft.
police: Where are you?
mn: Home, Northampton, the Leeds part of Northampton.
police: Was something stolen from your home?
mn: My identity.
police: What?
mn: Identity theft
police: What is that?
mn: Somebody hacked into my gmail account and now I can't get access
to my mail or my blog.
police: What?
mn: I'm without an identity. My email is shut down. Nnobody can reach
me. When they try to reach me they get a bounce back. I'm nobody.
police: Who is doing the bouncing?
mn: Maybe DNS?
police: Well then call DSS.
mn: No...
police: We don't handle DSS calls
mn: No, DNS, domain name server oversees all of the domains in the
websphere, you go to DNS to do a "who is?" to find out who owns a doman...., you know?
police: So you lost your identity?
mn: Yes and google won't answer the phone
police: Who is that?
mn: The mail server that I have....they don't even bother with tech support.
police: Call them.
mn: Nobody there, just computers.
police: Lady, what do you want?
mn: Find the hackers, I need to get back on line
police: Are you on drugs?
mn: Ok, listen to me, some bad guys hacked into my gmail account,
stole all of the names on the recipient list, and sent them all an
email with a message from me that says "help me" in the subject
line... And then it went on to say some cockamamie thing about being
stuck in London at a seminar and losing money and needing $2800 that
should be sent to a disclosed location. So all these people, friends,
clients, people I barely know, relatives got this thing and I can't
tell them to ignore it because I don't have their email addresses.
police: Why not?
mn: They were stolen by the hackers.
police: Maybe you should call Harvard yard.
mn: You mean Scotland yard.
police: Yeah.
mn: Forget it, you're no better than google.
police: At least we answer the telephone.
mn: Thank you officer.
police: Have a nice day.
mn: Thanks
police: And another thing.
mn: Yes?
police: If you don't know your identity, why don't you ask DSS?
mn: You mean DSS?
police: Yeah, all you gotta do is google DNS, type in, "who is?"....what
is your name?
mn: Mary Nelen?
police: There you go, you got your identity back. anything we can help you with?
mn: Well, no, not at this time.